I hate rains. Maybe the truth is am scared of it, it shows me the power of nature and makes me feel helpless against it as a speck. It has been a torrent of a heavy downpour for more than an hour now, here. It started around 4 in the morning or night, depends on who reads the time.
Recently I learnt of a new term about weather or climate or whatever, called a microburst. It is said that it is a very super localized downdraft of cold current that brings extensive damage to the impacted area, I suddenly think this is one such without any base evidence, enough with the science class.
The rain is making me too anxious. There are clothes left on the outside that I forgot to take in the night before. Maybe that’s the reason. Or maybe it’s the heavy thunder that hits differently than it had ever hit before. It feels so close to home and maybe the shock waves are making me anxious as my heart races, hmm … I may need to check my pulse.
Maybe am scared for the brooding hen in the shed whose eggs may never become chicks due to these heavy thunders. My mother always says that chicks don’t get to come alive when eggs are incubated during thunders. This fears me a little, okay a lot. I love hatchlings even full-grown birds and the idea of not being able to see them come to existence fears me since that is my biggest fear, “erased from existence”.
I need to calm down. I lost my poor sleep shy of maybe two to three hours of it due to this rain. I need to calm down.
Fur Elise, it is, the only classic piece I could remember the name instantly right after considering the idea of listening to one. I don’t exactly know since when I knew its name maybe from the time I played talking tom and played the space piano in it. Listening to this music made me exposed to the “unknown world of classics” and I never looked back. Now, I have a separate folder for them in my gigabyte collections of music on my computer.
I have always loved music and have been eclectic in my preferences. It invokes strong emotions in me either it be sadness or even peace.
My thoughts are as scattered as my writing is now in this work. Will I ever get to make it big in writing, I don’t know, I never wanted to know or wanted it to happen. But these cathartic emotions I am having from this writing rant am going on, I am seeing a sliver of peace I have always wanted. Maybe it’s worth it. The wait to start, the hesitation to begin, the doubt of self whether I had it in me.